12. Decision Of 'No Return'

I am reflecting on my father's passing in today's blog.

On the day of his passing, the doctors gathered the family together recommending that my father's life support system be switched off. While family members supported the recommendation, I could not.

I felt it was not mine or anyone else's choice to decide to turn off my father's life support system. I felt my father could only make that choice. But since he was unable to communicate that choice, and we did not know his wishes, I was turmoiled.

I sought a 24 hour stay on making a decision hoping for some miracle that he would awake and thereby be absolved from having to be part of such a 'no return' decision. I also questioned whether I was being selfish, weak, inconsiderate, and lacking compassion in prolonging my father's suffering?

On the evening of the day in being asked to make the life changing decision, he passed away. It avoided in having to be part of such a decision.

This experience had a profound effect on my views on euthanasia, and in ensuring my family being clear on my position if I was ever in a similar position to my father.

Last year, I wrote an opinion piece on the issue of euthanasia, and which I noted our views on this issue was partly shaped by our religious and moral upbringing. In the piece, I wrote:

"In a society that values, promotes and encourages personal responsibility, self-empowerment and ownership in how one shapes and lives their life, this freedom is not extended to the freedom to choose when to end one's life... "

"... what is more... sobering than watching yourself accelerate toward a death before your time, is your family and friends watch someone they love and care suffer, waste away, and ... witness such a tortuous end to a life, and the associated emotional trauma..."

With legal protections in place, I believe people suffering a terminal condition should have the freedom of choice to end their life with peace, serenity, and dignity.

To minimise any angst and uncertainty, it makes sense that we should make it legally clear or inform family members of their 'life or death' preference if the unexpected situation arises where one ends up on life support, and there is no likelihood of returning, or having a quality life.

I know it is not a black and white issue. And it is not an issue people necessarily feel comfortable in discussing with loved ones at the kitchen table. But my family experience has made me realise and appreciate in my family knowing my personal preference if I was in a similar situation.

It doesn't take away the pain of a loved one's passing, but it does offer me with greater comfort knowing my family are not unexpectedlly placed in an already emotionally difficult position, to make a decision on whether or not to end my life.